First thoughts.

I took a photo of this kind soul. Curious doggo.

Understanding the world is a monumental task at times. Understanding communication and human interaction, well.. that's another story. I'm on this thing called a spectrum. I easily understand machines. I don't however, easily understand those beautiful biological machines we all know and love. Other humans.

Tell me you want someone to listen, without telling me you want someone to listen.

I love psychology and neuroscience. I find thought, consciousness, behaviour, self, ego, all that...endlessly fascinating. Still, when someone is in pain, and just wants me to listen?

A situation.

Through their pain and their expression, they'd be trying to tell me, without telling me, they just want a hug. My response however, because I care deeply, is that I have to fix their situation, I have to help them.

I might say: "Here's a list of what you can do, or at least what I would do in your situation."

I might say

Something empathetic yet, pragmatic.
Something I think is insightful, and will make total sense to them.
If it applies, something about the fact that I've been there before... I've been in their shoes.
Something sympathetic and helpful.

It doesn't help. It doesn't help at all.

The best advice really is a hug... oh well that's easy!

Except it's not. I love to hug. People know me as a hugger, not a fist bumper or a handshaker. So wait a minute, why can't I just hug when they really need it. I find myself so solution focused, that I miss the solution altogether.

I know I can't change someone who's not willing to change themselves. I still find it... troublesome when they don't heed my advice.

I also know a lot of people don't want advice. They just need to express their feelings, they need an outlet. They need me to listen.

Except.

I'm also hyper-empathic. I really feel their pain, I feel it so very much – it's neuronal overload. I've made space for them, and they've consumed every inch.

So let's switch it up. Let's find a solution! Let's be logical about this whole thing. Together we can fix it.... ah... right.. they don't want my advice. They just want a hug. That I can do, but I'll need to rest and recharge.

In people with hyper-empathic autism, emotional regulation is difficult, especially when dealing with others emotions. I find that slowing down, lots of self reflection and patience with myself, to be helpful.

Here's some perhaps insightful reading: